I’m Still Me!!!

This time last year I had no idea how much my life was about to change. Then I made a decision that would monumentally change my life. I had more children. Let me refresh you…I have two teenagers, a sixteen year old son and a thirteen year old daughter. In May I will be VERY happily married for seventeen years to a wonderful man that lights up my world. Then last June my husband and I made a decision that would change our lives forever. We decided to adopt twins!!

We had a varying array of reactions from, “are you crazy?!” to “OMG! That is awesome!” both came from friends. The good thing about friends is that you can count on them to be honest with you (or at least you can with REAL friends). So as we made our announcement I knew that even the friends that said “are you crazy” would still be there for us. Or at least I thought they would.

The twins are now five months old. So happy and bubbly with drooling grins and fascinating baby gibberish. And I can honestly say I don’t regret my decision for one single second. Even through the sleepless nights, the teething, and the spit up….I love every second of it.

But I knew things would change. I would be trading beer bottles for baby bottles, fake tans for what ever minimal amount of sun I can get in my backyard as the babies napped, and loud music for lullabies. I would no longer be able to hop in my car and run up town to meet with a girlfriend for lunch (for those of you with ONE child…imagine all the lovely stress of preparing for an outing and DOUBLE it!). I would no longer be able to make a quick last minute plan to go out of town with the girls or other couples for the weekend. And when one of my friends called and said…”hey…let’s go out this Saturday night!”…there was a large chance that I wouldn’t be able to. I was prepared for that. BUT…I CAN go to lunch…I just need more than five minutes warning. I may not be able to go out of town for the weekend but it’s nice to be invited. And I’m sure I won’t be able to go out THIS Saturday night but I possibly could next weekend (I just have to talk my mom into baby sitting).

So yes…I knew my life would change. But I was positive that it would be that big a deal. After all…my friends having children didn’t change ME. So of course it wouldn’t change them. :/

Of course I called my mom…and cousin/sister and whined and cried about it. My mother isn’t entirely convinced that I’m not suffering the baby blues (and it’s possible…I researched it…lol). And she and my cousin/sister wisely informed me that friendships change…people change. And I’ve decided…they are right. I have changed. I am no longer content to wait for a phone call or text when I can be out doing other things with new friends or old friends that stuck it out with me. Sounds high school yeah…but…it’s how I feel.

If having new babies means I have to lose a few friends along the way…then I guess they weren’t friends to start with and I’m fine with that. Life is hard. Change is hard.  But as I look into the eyes of my babies big and small….all I can think is…my precious children are worth it!!


One thought on “I’m Still Me!!!

  1. Power to you girl!!!!!! Those friends are NOt friends, I realized that a LONG time ago my self. my twins are 2.5 and my baby is 9m……. when i was married, all my friends were married with kids, then i divorced, leaving me out again…… then I was married, and expecting, thinking FINALLY we could have play dates, or mommy groups or girls nights…………….. yet again……… Im left out. I thank GOD every day for my husband being my best friend and for our three lil miracle boys and wouldnt change a thing………….. But I have to say its sad, Sad that elementary, Jr High and High school dramas and cliques STILL exist in the adult world!

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